It doesn't get any better
To the editor:
Very shortly, Mother's Day will be upon us and I would like to convey to your readers some insight that I've acquired over 87 years.
This should be applied to both mothers and wives.
Sixty-two years ago I courted my wife and by extolling my virtues and promising a better life, many perks and several bonuses, I convinced her to marry me. Shortly thereafter, I proceeded to endow her with the following: She could have full charge of the house, she bore me three children, she would be in charge of all maintenance, housekeeping, laundry, snow shoveling, grass cutting and all the shopping. I have to tell you that early on in our marriage, we both realized that I could not handle money, so for the length of our marriage, she has managed our finances.
Now we must discuss the meals. We won't count breakfast because it was toast and coffee or cereal. We won't count lunch because in the days when we weren't as "affluent" as we are now, lunch was a brown bag continuing a piece of fruit (orange, apple or banana), a choice of three Lorna Doones or three Oreos and a choice of PBJ, egg salad or tuna salad. These my wife would bag up the night before.
The meal we've always counted was dinner. We all had suggestions such as baked beans, chili, creamed tuna on toast and mashed potatoes, and creamed chip beef on toast and mashed potatoes. Later on we could augment that with beef stew, pot roast, chicken or pork chops. I'll save you the trouble of doing the math. Sixty-two years by 365 days and 15 days for leap years adds up to 22,645 meals. This required quite a lot of work. It seems that when we took a vote we all liked the same thing, but what I chose was what was on the table at 6 p.m. We drew the line on one item -- liver has never been served here. My wife likes it and often orders it when we go out to eat. Don't get me wrong -- I can eat liver if you place a loaded pistol to my forehead.
Now, my wife must be compensated for all this effort, so we've got $100 and we've decided to buy her some clothes -- but that's a no go. We don't know color or size and she would probably spend two days returning them for something she liked that fit. But she still needs clothes. Let's check her closet. Isn't that amazing? There are three dresses, two shirts, a couple of blouses and they look so familiar. They should. She hasn't bought anything for herself in seven years -- she wears what she has. Why don't we just give her the hundred -- that's a no go too. She would go to Walmart's and buy a $15 sweater. The other $85? She would blow it on you and the kids. Don't shake your head -- it's been this way for 50 years.
I got the answer. Take your wife and your mother to CP's in Hagaman. You still got the $100, right? But three of you can eat a complete meal from soup to dessert for less than $50 dollars. While you are there observe the people leaving. You will see that 90 percent of them are carrying out Styrofoam containers. Two of you will also. The service is great, the food is good and abundant. You won't be able to finish what Shannon, Lisa and Carol put on your plate. The price is right -- moderate when you pay your bill, you should have 50 bucks left -- nothing wrong with buying a $50 gift certificate. At least you'll know your mother-in-law will be able to make three trips out there, without laying out any money.
As you are leaning, you'll find a tall muscular man, cleaning the tables and resetting them. He's well groomed and quite good looking. He's no Jim Sheridan, but who is? What I have written and suggested are just opinions. The money angle works for me and it will for you. I am amazed at the amount of money we are able to set aside for Christmas. If you can sneak some money on the side, about every two to three weeks, give it to your wife so she can get her hair done. Keep this in mind -- i.e., the above.
I've been there and I've done that. My wife and I have a ritual each night. We say three sentences to each other at the same time. They are as follows: "Good night," "God bless" and "I love you." It don't get any better.
See you next Saturday.
Spreading positive word of mouth
To the editor:
Besides the vast collateral future economic benefits coming this way, also arriving will be a continued flow of cultural-oriented visitors connected with various high-end domestic, global and international venues, always looking for new aspiring talent on a regular basis involving the visual arts, performing arts, authors, writers, handcrafters, etc., in most small towns is consistently of prime interest to these "recruiters," much like the keen attention given to exceptionally athletically sports talented youth who showcase their individual abilities on the recreational and high school football fields, basketball courts, baseball diamonds, etc.
Every conceivable public gathering, which would enable specific local talent to be introduced to the unlimited global and international audiences being assembled, should be utilized to the fullest extent.
As it has been constantly stressed in the past, properly maintained and properly funded incentives which can surely motivate increased numbers of experienced cultural minded tourist/travelers to consider our city a "must place to visit" whenever they are around and about, is an investment which will always pay off.
Positive words of mouth has always been, and always will be, the best advertisement and endorsement a tourism dependent municipality can receive. So, every time visitors leave here, and upon returning to their home bases, how they verbally describe the reception they experienced while in town, if enjoyable and interesting, will definitely result in more established future money for local business coffers.