Advertisement
 
Friday, April 29, 2016
Amsterdam, NY ,

 

Advertisement

Scorecard battle ignites responses

Thursday, August 07, 2014 - Updated: 6:32 AM

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Pressured" (April 23), the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and his wife have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year. She was wondering if this is normal.

I can tell her that my former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex that also included who initiated it. I explained to him that I was more than willing to have frequent sex, but that he also had to be an attentive, caring husband.

Our marriage counselor believed he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and was probably a diagnosable narcissist. Surprise, surprise. He pronounced our marriage counselor to be inept and divorced me.

"Pressured" says she has a good marriage, so I assume that means she has a caring husband. I would advise her to do her best to enthusiastically and creatively meet his needs. Most men express love and feel loved by having sex. Scorekeeping could be his ineffective attempt at communicating his need to feel loved. -- THE EX-MRS.

DEAR EX: Thank you for writing. The saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" aptly applies to the responses I received from my readers about that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Most guys may keep track of how often they're having sex, although more likely it's how long since the last time, or maybe how many times a week. But this guy is an idiot for letting his wife know that he's tracking it, let alone that he has a goal of 100 times. Hopefully he's not procreating, just "recreating" in bed.

Abby, I thought you knew men better. "Fifty great versus 100 'so-so' times" -- are you kidding? Surely you know the saying, "Even bad sex is pretty good sex." We guys will take it any way, any how, anytime. For us, it's all good, all the time. -- DAN IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, my husband also likes to keep a running tab of our sexual frequency. It galls me.

I saw a movie years ago in which a couple saw the same therapist and one tells the counselor, "We NEVER have sex. We only do it three times a week." While the other says, "We have sex ALL THE TIME. We do it three times a week."

We must consider the other person and his or her needs, whether they're emotional, sexual or physical. Emotional and physical are not necessarily the same. -- DENISE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: For most men, sex is just a little less important than breathing and eating as essential to our existence. Men are getting fed up with being deprived. I have often considered extramarital sexual pursuits, and I feel I'd be justified in doing so. I know I'm not alone.

Men have needs, and should have a right to share intimate relations with their wives. If not, we should be given the green light to fulfill our needs elsewhere. -- JAMES IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Pressured." I have been married 20 years and have five children. I figure my husband and I are intimate an average of 260 times a year. Needless to say, my husband greets me with a smile every day, and our marriage is rock solid. -- KNOWS THE SECRET IN UTAH

     

Comments made about this article - 0 Total

Comment on this article

Advertisement
Subscribe to The Recorder

 

The Recorder Sports Schedule

Most Popular

    Area high school sports calendar
    Monday, April 25, 2016

    Dr. Tom Catena named finalist for humanitarian award
    Monday, April 25, 2016

    Threat to GASD results in 'lock-out'
    Saturday, April 23, 2016

    Drone flies over F-FCS so students can map area
    Saturday, April 23, 2016

    Mary Katherine Szasz
    Monday, April 25, 2016

    Board stalls on veterans tax break
    Saturday, April 23, 2016

    Police Reports
    Saturday, April 23, 2016

    McGillin tosses two-hitter in Amsterdam's 7-0 victory
    Tuesday, April 26, 2016

    State unable to determine city's fiscal stress score
    Wednesday, April 27, 2016

    Corrections officer pleads guilty to assault
    Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Advertisement

Copyright © McClary Media, Inc.

Privacy Policies: The Recorder

Contact Us

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook