Did you happen to catch the television version of our most recent Common Council meeting? Unfortunately, due to a heavy schedule of kids' activities, I was unable to watch the show in its entirety. I did, however, manage to catch a small snippet of it which turned out to be the highlight of my evening. I probably should have reminded myself to set the DVR but as you all know, busy lifestyles forget to remind us of what we need to do. So, without any interruptions or commercials, I would like to present my printed version of an interesting interaction that happened between two public officials. Though the television version is far better with its sound effects, I'll try my best to keep your interest in what most consider being business as usual.
So sit back and enjoy the show involving a battle of wits between Mayor Ann Thane and 4th Ward Alderman Dave Dybas. It was the verbal confrontation that caught my attention, where Mayor Thane, grasping her gavel with an icy stare while about to slam it on the table, began uttering the words "knock it off, Dave; knock it off." A police officer sat waiting in the wings for the order to remove a public official from the chambers.
Suddenly, a moment of silence filled the air inside the chambers with no action taken. Alderman Dybas stood his ground, expressing his opinion on the issue of a qualified controller. At that moment I sensed a slight difference of opinion along with the possibility of an elected official being escorted out for expressing his concerns. In the end, a verbal exchange of words turned out to be just that -- nothing more than a verbal exchange of words. Other than a power struggle nothing was resolved. But I also found the interaction between the two entertaining. That particular encounter made me think about those early school years where a teacher would tell you to "knock it off; knock it off." If there was a lesson ever to be learned from that statement then I must have missed it
It was during their entrenched battle over finding a controller to fix our finances that also made me think of a comic book hero followed by a television show and finally a movie. Now what would make me envision a super-hero flying over city hall to save all residents from an evil power? Well, if you happen to catch the television or printed version of the Common Council meeting in the Recorder, take note of the attire Mr. Dybas was wearing and ask yourself the question why? On that particular night Mr. Dybas happened to be wearing a white t-shirt with the symbolic "S" shield on his chest. The emblem is indicative of a famous super-hero with super strength who battles enemies for truth, justice and the American way. That's right, folks, he's "faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look up in the sky: It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's Superman."
Mild-mannered Alderman Dave, also known as Clark Kent (who dresses up like Super Dave) is out to battle his well-known nemesis Lex Luthor (also known as the Mighty Mayor). This personal vendetta has been brewing for some time in which both feel there is a lack of progress. Super Dave has super powers which include flying at the speed of sound, super strength, vision power, super-hearing and super-breath, giving him the ability to blow out hot air at a propulsive force of high speed winds.
But the Mighty Mayor has the answer to all of his super powers. She knows that Super Dave is most vulnerable to green Kryptonite, which is a special mineral from the planet Krypton. Exposure to green Kryptonite radiation nullifies Super Dave's powers and immobilizes him with pain and nausea. The only substance on Earth that can protect him from Kryptonite is lead, which blocks out the radiation. The problem is that lead is the only known substance that Super Dave cannot see through with his x-ray vision. Could we possibly be seeing the making of a new movie?
Coming soon to a theater near you is the new action-packed movie titled "Super Dave versus the Mighty Mayor." For your reading pleasure, I would like to introduce you to some sneak previews of this action-packed film. This movie has been rated "R" for its use of city charter language.
Super Dave: "Yes, it's Super Dave -- strange visitor from another planet with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Super Dave, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered alderman for the city of Amsterdam, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way."
Mighty Mayor: "You'll never stop me, Super Dave, from having my way. You're going to end up fighting every elected official in city hall." I also have a lead-plated shield to protect my thoughts and ideas. Even your super x-ray vision and hearing cannot penetrate into my thoughts. Only my close friends on Facebook know what I'm doing."
Super Dave: "Have you forgotten I'm Super Dave? I know how a brain like yours works. You plant an idea and expect it to work without resistance. I will not stand by and see our city fall prey to such tactics."
Mighty Mayor: "I will find ways to get even with you, Super Dave. You are no match against my super-friends with super-power. Don't forget I have the power of the gavel and it only takes a few words like knock it off, Dave, to subdue you."
In the end which has no end, a super-hero continues his fight for truth, justice and the city charter while battling the Mighty Mayor in search for a city controller.
Until next time -- hold that thought.
MIKE LAZAROU is an Amsterdam
native and a regular columnist. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.